I need information about one of my bridesmaids. She’s a dear friend I met after college with whom I had some of my most important mature memories. I love spending time with her, and personally I think she’s a catch.
However, where we collide is in our judgment of the partners. While I”ve been with my boyfriend for a few years, I”ve also been trying to build the friend”s confidence in the dating scene. Sometimes she meets someone flaky, and I encourage her to love herself to do what’s best for her—whether it’s dating or taking care of herself. Recently, however, she has only been attending other folx Each one not only broke, but crashed and burned to her detriment – it was judging her learning disability, it was bodily threatening her safety, it was related to another girl in front of her. Sometimes I think the humans she chooses are just shit. Other times I’m puzzled as to why he won’t use an app, a friend, or a social gathering to deliberately seek out less terrible people out of his orbit. Sometimes it seems that she chooses a terrible Folx
Fast forward to my wedding in a few weeks. As a bridesmaid, of course, a friend receives a plus-a non-negotiable one. We have a mutual friend who has repeatedly offered to be a friend’s date, knowing that they won’t have to be bab bab When a friend hears this, she always equivocates or dramatizes “What if I fell in love?!?”Love is absolutely an option for friends. But am I a terrible human being for not wanting a potential and shit How can I politely explain that at a certain deadline I would prefer that he not bring a new partner to my wedding and that he go with our mutual friend? Also, am I going to hell for asking?
Here’s the thing: a plus-one is for your friend’s company and enjoyment. That’s what you give him as a “thank you!”to be stuck at your wedding all day. It’s not about your photos. The plus-one is one of the very few pieces of this day that does not concern you.
Believe me, your friend knows that her taste for partners was zero. He knows too painfully that he did not have an excellent track record. Insinuating that you will not be able to find someone suitable for the light of day must pour salt on these wounds.
Leave her alone. Let her bring whoever she wants, whatever last-minute crush she experiences. Remember that your photos are a snapshot of a specific moment. Chances are that there are people in them who, in the end, will not be an important part of your life.
And even if this person is such a dick that you don’t want to look at his smarmy face (We’re talking about receiving photos, right? The dates of the wedding party do not need to be in your posed photos!).
Get through this marriage and focus on being a good friend to this lady; it sounds like she’s having a hard time coping. Start now by letting her bring whoever she wants.
